This one may be a bit of stretch, but I like how it feels. And in looking back at what I have written before, this piece is quite obviously a continuation of posts on Joy that I have already written. It does continue to amaze me that I so easily forget much of what I have written, but I do.
The previous related posts that I will ask you to read now are: On the Way To Joy, Joy Conversion, The Cycle of Joy to Joy and most recently Dancing Towards Home. I realize that this will be a lot of reading. But each is an earlier vision of Joy, bubbling up through the sometimes cloudy surface layers of my thoughts. And it will be the only way to take in the entirety of what I am pointing to in this episode of an apparently ever-unfolding story.
To begin: I noticed something fairly common when doing my pranayama practice recently, but this time an insight arose along with it that made it uncommon. I typically have my eyes closed when doing the practice – and though there is always a dark background, within that background – I usually see/feel energy in continuous oscillating flows and/or particle-like showers, passing through or mixing together in seemingly infinite variations of blacks, grays, and whites, along with some other colors in very muted tones. On some occasions a particularly dark area will appear inside a much lighter area, both located in the central part of my “visual” field. Both are more or less round but the borders of each are irregularly shaped.
At times, the area will be very black, with a brilliant white halo around it. On rarer occasions both will become crystal clear, as if I was focusing binoculars on them. In these cases, all motion within that image stops. This is noteworthy since the vast majority of the time over these many decades, there is motion everywhere and nothing stops. But on this recent occasion there was a tiny dark spot within the white and it struck me that it was, somehow, a black hole. 
The thought that arrived with it was “The I AM in each person is the “I” of a black hole, taking in, but unperturbed by, the dancing joy outside of its interior.” It did not arrive with any understanding, just those words.
Some time later that tiny speck of a black hole felt familiar, and I recalled another memory of it from a very different perspective. I see patterns in energy all the time. Sometimes words arise with them, but most often they do not. Occasionally, the patterns are fractal-like and I have seen the pattern before in a different wavelength range where I may already have associated understandings. But in the instances when these experiences come into that crystal clarity, there is no motion at all in the white or the black aspects of the image. In very rare instances of this phenomena there is a sense of absolute certainty that something was recognized, but without motion there are no distinctions to be had. This time, for the very first time, there was that sense of recognition and words.
Here I will muse a bit on these words. If, in fact, this universe did begin with a Big Bang, as most cosmologists seem to believe, then it arose out of a singularity. And a singularity lies at the heart of every black hole, where space and time are said not to exist.* And there is a singularity at the heart of every galaxy with a disc of bright material flowing into the event horizon of its surrounding black hole due to the immense gravitational field. It seems to me that in this material the Many, that I have spoken of before, are returning to the singularity in a joyful reunion after their explorations in time. In this evolving story, we all originated from that initial Big Bang singularity. So as our point of origin it should be at the heart of each of us, our cosmological DNA, as should our galaxy with its singularity. Though it appears that the features of all black holes are different, 
the singularity within each may very well be the same. While acknowledging that theories on singularities are varied, one article that I read infers this, saying “…singularities are said to be the same infinite density point.”
So, I am now thinking that the black hole that I am seeing in my practice may be both my source, “within” me and a destination, off in the “distance” of my experiential future. And the flowing energies may, and I think should, be going in both directions, oscillating like most other energies in the universe. In between the internal and external black holes are the dancing manifestations of the Many that are being attracted by both, commensurate with the current frequency range of their associated physicality, size, and relative experiential proximities.
In the post Integrating the We I wrote about the many souls from my past whose joyful essence lie within me, as inseparable parts of me. I am now thinking of myself as a kind of black-hole-access-aperture, modulated by my attention, attracting the joyful “many” who are within my gravitational field and happen to be tuned to the Justin-specific resonances that are traits of my essence and/or part of my personal, internal “many-ness” that orbit my own black hole event horizon.**
In a recent session of Bonnitta Roy’s Pop-Up School, it occurred to me that some essence of that group is part of me now, and that this group joyful essence-gathering is much like collecting the joyful essence of individuals that I have found myself to have been doing all along. They are all deeply entwined parts of me now.
So, I went back and looked at my joy-list, now a couple of years old, and nearly all of these folks did belong to a group that I was associated with. I see now that I can sense the essential, joyful energetic churnings of each of those groups too. It looks like I am pulling in the joys of external singulars and external plurals, along with all of their internal plurals. So, I’ve collected those individuals’ joy, and at least the collective joy of the group that I shared with them, into my own interior. And, I assume, on their side of the equation they were reciprocally dancing with me in the same way. All the while I am likely being gravitationally pulled towards, and attracting, the essential joy of other individuals and groups that I have interacted with but am not consciously aware of. I clearly feel the gravity of our planet and we assuredly must all be being inexorably pulled towards the black hole, and its singularity, of our galaxy in a kind of Joy-sharing galactic family dance of nearly infinite attractions, inflowing and outflowing, in all directions.
I have no doubt that, to a large degree, what comes out of my mouth is evoked by my environment and that I have an affinity for certain energetic environs that increase the range of my black-hole gravitational field, attracting and taking in a wider band of potential frequency ranges to be experienced. I think this is likely true for environments of all kinds, but it is just much more evident to me when I am interacting with individuals and groups. In all of this process, I suspect that my internal black hole and the external black hole are moving toward each other, as well as toward an experiential re-union, and the singular home, outside of space/time, from which we joyfully leapt forth.
I will end this one by requesting that you read one last piece on Joy, Tell Us of Your Joy.
* The Big Bang singularity is said to be different than any other singularity and, of course, debates abound on all of this.
** I am just now delving deeper into ideas about white holes and I don’t have a good feel for them yet.