October 2019 – Frequency Soup

I Love, Therefore I Am

Justin Frank / October 27, 2019

I noticed of late the pull to be reclusive, again. I have lived with that in the background, and often enough in the foreground, for my entire life. What was also occurring during this time was that people that I love were coming to mind and, at moments, they left my mind and I instead felt them present in my experience. It was as if some essence of them was right here in me. As I contemplated this, I deliberately stopped “thinking” of them and simply invited them in. Over a period of days, dear friends and family seemed to be transiting through me. At times it felt like I was a mixture of myself and them, which I found quite easy to do. I felt their nudging energies blending into me, sometimes collectively. It is perhaps best imagined as being in pre-boiling water, considerable movement but warm and gently caressing.

What came to me was that the call towards reclusiveness might actually be the pull of the essential consciousness of each of these loved ones, acting collectively as a kind of magnified gravitational field. I might not be seeking to be solitary, but to be immersed within the many beloveds of my life.

At one point in that field, I let go and felt the rushing motion of moving into them, into that Many, and being joyously welcomed home. Moments later, I felt the Many rushing back into me and this core, this solid “I” was welcoming them back to the home that they were seeking. Back and forth We went.

In this moment it seems to me that all of the frequencies that I’ve been immersed in these many decades might just be the caresses of love in an infinite dance, leading and following, as the oscillations of I and We. This I/We is joy’d. Joy’d in the inhalation of love from the many and sharing that accumulated joy back into the ecosystem of the Many as the exhalation of this particular collective I/We. A natural breathing in and breathing out is taking over. It knows the way.

It certainly seems that I am the We of those I love and who love me, both the living and those who have passed on. I am sure that it extends beyond them but it certainly begins with those with whom I most naturally resonate. I am a fluid singular I that in some way is that We, as our resonances are always entwined. And yet often the collective energies that are present at a given moment are compacted and become experientially focused as a solid, individuated “I”. It is a matter of where and how attention is focused and it seems likely that this has always been so. I have newly conscious ways of perceiving. I can experience myself as a porous, loosely focused aspect of a blended We; as a compacted collective I – focused, lucid and distinct; or as an infinitely modulating dance between the two. It is clear that, whether in focused or unfocused form, without them I would not be. It appears, at least at the moment, that I exist only as some vortex of interrelationship, which oscillates between an expanded unfocused We and a compacted collective momentary I. I give back my gratitude, my appreciation and my love into the ecosystem of the Many when I experience myself on the leading, more uni-focused, side of the dance and I accept theirs in kind when invited to be the follower, to let go and be led. Bidirectional joy radiates at all times. This I/We is blended into the collective love that they are, in their web of loves, and we co-create ourselves in our joint oscillating resonances.

As we are joy’d by this inter-webbing, Being is joy’d in our recognition of, and active participation in, the ongoing joyful interplay of welcoming in and gifting out.

When I texted a friend with my thought of “Without those I love, I would not be,” his response was “So…..I love therefore I am?”. YES, that’s perfect.

I love, therefore I am

Creation-Appreciation

Experiences of Being

Justin Frank / October 6, 2019

What is emerging of late is that I have been getting “lost” in experience. It is reminiscent of “time flies when you’re having fun” except that it has been much more frequent and there has been a rapid oscillation between experience and then noticing that I was just lost in “it”. There appears to be no “I” in the experience. Rather, the experience is noticed after the fact and there is then a re-cognition of the lack of identity during the experience, which is really no surprise given the immediate nature of experiencing. But what is new is the sense that whatever it is that holds identity in place lets go and simply allows experience to occur. It feels like what life or consciousness desires is access to experience, here in this place, through portals such as us and that it uses every available avenue to do just that. But in one case, it was not just me. I was doing a “What is present?” practice with someone and there was a mutual experience of free-flowing dancing in the expanse of imagination, one leading and one following. We experienced exchanging the roles of leader and follower, which began to accelerate back and forth so fast that, in an instant, leader and follower were merged. Both of us were gone. There was no I and no We. After the fact, it seemed that dance was simply occurring, as if consciousness had been set free to enjoy itself.

On the active side of this inter-play, my partner and I did set up the parameters in which this experience could happen by choosing to get on a call and do the practice. In our lives we do choose how to modify our environment and how to put ourselves into situations where we are most likely to enjoy ourselves. Thus, from this perspective, it appears that enjoyment is one of the activities by which Being accesses earthly experience, through us, and that we are actively engaged in creating that opening. Other avenues might include curiosity, gratitude and love. We, as particular aspects of identity, can set up the circumstances, initiate a flow, then stand aside and be overtaken by life experiencing itself through us.

In a way, we are the experiences of Being, individually and collectively.