Frequency Soup

The Archives of Becoming

Becoming’s gusto to beautify, to make more perfect, appears relentless and Being’s appetite for appreciating the beautiful also seems inexhaustible. Both of those energies are still very much “us” and every nuanced layer “down” through time can be felt if one can but “remember” them in their energetic splendor. Here I’ll focus on what I see as a trait of Becoming’s energy.

Blue glowing futuristic jump gate in space, computer generated abstract background

As the intent of Becoming’s evolutionary flow spreads out, metaphorically, to where our consciousness resides now, that evolution has created an energetic trail, which is still our source. The intentions (choices) which initiated those varied flows are carried along downstream and reside in tenuous flavors of preference that lie below our conscious thinking. Those deeper directives have been diluted by our more focused localized beautification decisions, which operate at faster frequencies and thus mask the gentle undulations beneath. To be able to sense them we most often use some kind of “letting go” or “bringing forth” practice, which can melt away the most superficial frequencies. What is revealed is where some aspect of “us” – a less differentiated We – used to look out from. We are familiar with every space along our route, since we created them on the way here by “our” own beautification choices.

It seems to me that, by the very fact that they were the opening through which we created this place, those intentions are of a broader vision of the beautiful. They are less focused on the relative minutia that we as individuals are intent upon now. The urgent yearning of survival, for instance, is much deeper than what clothes are most suitable for the event you are attending. Both are a form of a beautification – a “what will make the next moment more perfect” choice – but are of differing depths. If you are in a real, or imagined, life and death situation, all minor preferences/choices disappear. Yet all of these, in some way, must reflect the life force infused in us through the planet, the star and their energetic ancestors.

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Delight, Dissatisfaction and Meditation

The purpose of meditation and similar mind quieting practices is, at least in part, to extricate oneself from the relentlessness of the mind’s thinking. There is true value in that but it does not mean one should view thinking as a negative thing. What is almost never appreciated, is that thinking is also an integral part of Becoming’s beautification process. That being the case, I don’t “think” that we should disparage thinking (the mind), as many seem to do. If, as I’ve proposed, Becoming’s choices down through the eons have localized a focal point in this place (me), then along that pathway I, and we, have chosen the tools necessary to complete both our personal desires of perfection, and our less conscious or unconscious broader communal commitments as well. Thinking is clearly used in the way humans both assess what our current status is and the direction that we intend to go next. It is the tool by which we assess, inquire and then take action on what was perfect a moment ago but, after appreciation, leaves us looking for the next best thing.

Now we should always stop and first delight in (appreciate) what we did create, as that is why we’re creating. We have every right, and it is our nature to delight in all that has been created, whether by us, other humans, the planet or the broader universal intent of Being. Thus pleasure seeking is also fundamental to our individual experience of Being’s delight. This tends to be disparaged in some circles, and was the case in my ashram days. A renunciate gave up all desires of the flesh and that path was to be admired by the rest of us. This process was intended to aide in letting go of all participation in this “illusion” we found ourselves in, and that work was seen as a serious business.

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The Impact of Cynicism

I think that it would be logical for one to assume that Being, in its original intent to create, did not do so with timidity and must have known, with some certainty, that its choice to create would bear fruit. Given that we are offspring of that choice, on some very deep level we, like Being, expect that all of our choices will bear the fruit of our intent. If that initial intent – manifested in the energy of Becoming – is our source, how then could we not reflect it? Yet the physical world in which we live requires a certain kind of effort in order to have an impact on it. It is said, as described by “gross, subtle, causal”, that it is more “dense” that other layers. Whatever the difference may be, it is clear that once we arrive here we have to familiarize ourselves with the nuances of how energy works in this particular place. In addition, we are competing in this world with others who are just as connected to Being, and who are also intentional about the outcomes of their choices.

Here I will again point to Steve McIntosh’s quote that I used earlier in “Choice and Appreciation”:

“What does a universe of existential perfection do for an encore? It transcends itself through the development of creatures who can experience becoming perfect in time. That is, to achieve evolutionary perfection freely by choice, by effort, and even occasionally struggle, is to create an aspect of reality that did not exist in the state of existential perfection that we recognize as prevailing in the universe prior to the Big Bang.”

Our experience of “becoming perfect in time” evolves out of our choices of what we see as perfect in the place where we happen to find ourselves. So in each moment, we are making a choice with the intent that it will lead towards something more perfect than what exists in our experience right now. That choice may be anything from what to have for dinner, to buying a house or ending a war. Each involves a choice or series of choices. Often what we choose does not come to fruition. A pitcher and a batter have exactly the opposite intentions. A store may be out of just that item that you specifically went there to buy. What you intended to eat for lunch may have been consumed by someone else in the house. There are innumerable choices and outcomes every single day. How we react to these unfulfilled intentions varies depending on our mood, the amount of energy we’ve exerted toward its completion, and likely a whole host of less perceptible impulses, derived from other underlying preferences. But in each and every instance, the frequency of that intent is interrupted so that there is some experience of energetic dissonance as that frequency is disrupted in some fashion.

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Preferences

shutterstock_392055367 Here I’ll describe some observations on preferences. Preferences often dictate our choices, and the power of choice is a primary thread for the perspective that I’m attempting to convey.

There are a number of ways that I experience the flow of frequencies in which thoughts are not involved. Since I’ve already relayed that I consider these, and not thoughts, as real (relatively), these traits or tendencies seem important to note.

Pure unadulterated flow, moving every which way of its own accord, seemingly unimpeded by my conscious attention.
This is experientially the same as #1 but added to it is an experience of pleasure.
This is experientially the same as #2 but a form of choosing appears. Some aspect of “I” is periodically, but automatically, seeking pleasure by choosing to merge with a particular frequency. It also avoids relative dissonance by diverting attention from a frequency, closing off that pathway.
Again, this is experientially the same as #2 but “I” am deliberately choosing the direction of flowing/merging. Though there are still no words here, it is clear that some aspect of my awareness is actively selecting which direction to flow into or close off.
Flow stops for a moment, “I” skips over what seems like a tight bundle of intensity, and I arrive at the absolute stillness of the witness state. Though there is no energetic flow of any kind, frequencies and preferences are visible, somehow, out “in the distance”, by the witness. I will also note here that there are times when I am on the threshold of this witness state, which is quiet and observant but not completely “still”.

It is numbers 3 & 4 that are of particular interest to me at this moment. They are essentially the same except that one is automatic and the other is somehow chosen deliberately. What I’d like to point out is that there are a multitude of preferences and that we are not conscious of most of them. It seems possible that these preferences are the result of earlier upstream choices (similar to cultural conditioning) though I cannot be certain. But what I can say is that I’ve witnessed them, and that both aspects seem to exhibit tendencies of curiosity and pleasure seeking (appreciation).

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Some Thoughts on Love, Sadness and We-space

“Falling in love” does, in fact, have a sense of motion associated with it, which is why this term exists. It’s like our depths are naturally in resonance with the depths of another and our normal experiential range feels that deep gravitational pull. Since our own depths underpin all of our daily conscious experiences, all of those experiences feel that deep resonance. The motion we rightfully call “falling” seems to bubble up through every experience we have and the normal solidity of our sense of self becomes more transparent and we “fall” through its dissolving support into the newly revealed depths.

I felt that instantly when I first met my wife. I just knew that we were related. We “fell” for many years and at some point long ago, energetically reached an equilibrium. As I see it, our depths are no longer experientially deep. Rather they are very present for us in our every day lives – as we are in orbit around each other like binary stars. That feel of falling is no longer experienced since we are in proximity and there is no longer a distance over which to travel, or “fall”. We are in communion and that communion provides the solidity of being close; we are a “We”.

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Inclusion and Exclusion

Given our premise that there is one Being, of whom we are all expressions, it is logical to assume that somewhere in our depths we are conscious of this fact. There must certainly be an infinite number of levels of communal resonance developed down through the eons to where our particular attention is focused right now. I think, therefore, that in our interactions with other people we are at least subtly aware of being included in those deeper communal spaces, or excluded from them, implicitly or explicitly. Our sensitivity to that inclusion or exclusion will likely be experienced energetically as undifferentiated resonance or dissonance. At deeper levels, its impact would be much more subtle, and at some depth disappear into ranges where the wavelengths are too broad for most to perceive given where our attention is currently focused. Yet they are still there.

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The Impact of Completion and Incompletion

Choices are typically made for some end, which is ultimately some form of perceived perfection – a more beautiful (better or perfect) state – which can then be appreciated. It is, as I have said, our nature to create and appreciate. If that cycle is completed, one is left fulfilled at the level at which a choice was made. Choosing to open the refrigerator is still a choice, requiring intent and action, but its completion does not really register in our conscious attention as satisfying since it is commonplace within our conscious frequency range. A knock on the door may defer that action but altering any of our minor choices with another choice does not seem to leave any energetic residue. But choices are associated with frequencies and so, like frequencies, exist at varying energetic levels. Some take more focused and longer term attention so the energetic impact is more impactful.

Some people get a college degree and realize that some very different career calls them and the degree’s focus is dropped without regret. It was a long term goal but the choice to leave it behind seems pretty clean. This example of completion is consciously choosing to no longer pursue the intended outcome.

Another example of dealing with a choice is to ignore it, deny it or put it on the “back burner”. With this in-action, it is my experience that the intention hangs out until it is brought to some conscious conclusion. Given the varying amounts of energy applied to goals, some will pester you consciously, like “I really need to get that done”, and some lie in the background unattended, like wanting to be a doctor when you were a kid (yes, it’s still there). But all require some degree of energy to hold them in place. The mind was given a command and until another one alters that energy, it lives on awaiting completion of the “choice-appreciation” cycle. I think that a fair amount of the energetic clutter that flows in and out of our minds is a result of incompletions waiting for an opening to remind to us of the desire we once had to have them be fulfilled. The mind is a perfectly oiled machine and it does everything that we ask. All requests lie in wait until their “completion and appreciation” cycle is done, even if some intentions are contradictory.

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I Am Alone, or Not

We come into this world as infants who surely seem more merged with deeper aspects of Being, or whatever you’d like to call it, than those who have been here a while. It takes time for us to train our attention consistently to this particular physical environment. Somewhere during that process we achieve a benchmark level of, at least perceived, separation.

When I was 6 my we moved into a larger house in a new neighborhood closer to the university where my father worked. It was full of children. After a week or so, I don’t really remember, I went to my mother and said “I don’t think that there is anyone in the neighborhood my age”. She said, “Well, Christine Daley is about your age”. In that instant I realized that she’d known that there was no one my age and had kept that from me. In my little mind I thought that if I couldn’t trust her to be honest with me, I was really alone in the world. That declaration, in that silent moment, made it effectively so. Many decades later I remembered this event at some Landmark course where they were specifically looking for such a “break in belonging”. I went to share what I’d seen with my mother and before I was even done she said, “I remember that. I regretted it the moment that I said it but it was too late”. Even she saw the impact that it had on me and remembered it all those years later.

It seems to me that at least one component of the process of being trained to be in this physical world comes in some form of a declaration that “I am alone”. It may be “nobody loves me, I’m not good enough, I don’t fit in” but is something along those lines. The “I”, in that moment of declared separateness, realizes that it must take responsibility for its choices as a solitary individuated entity. If it is going to survive in this world – to get what it needs and wants – it’s got to take charge and make it happen since it cannot guarantee the same resolve from anyone else. Given that on some level that each of us does have to make our own way, it makes sense that we do have to come to that declared state at some point.

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Choice, One Source of Shadow

In the piece “Choice and Appreciation” I proposed the possibility that there is a flow of choices all the way from the “big bang” to my moment-by-moment choices right now. From an energetic perspective, that means that every single choice upstream has some impact on the energy that is represented as me, since I am sourced by the entirety of that stream.

I’ll return to my “Siemens” analogy about levels of awareness. Choices made upstream always will have some impact downstream. Those upstream choices will impact a wider array of downstream people and processes in their organization but typically at a more subtle level. Upstream choices are reflected in me primarily as moods, ways of being, tendencies, worldview, and the like. They can act like an overarching steering mechanism. They obviously are experienced, but I tend to be most aware of them when I’m not actively engaged in anything. What is most visibly impactful are the choices made with clear and present attention. Conscious choices will most often override upstream intent because, as I’ve pointed out, downstream shorter wavelengths tend to mask the longer ones. You’re not likely to be thinking about your overall commitment to life while you’re zipping down a mountainside on a snowboard or trying to put a squirming child into a car seat. Though your overall commitment is reflected in your individual choices here, making an impact in this world still requires taking action within these local frequency levels where it can be experienced and appreciated.

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Certainty and Freedom

I think that when anyone has an insight, on almost any topic, that very state of insight has as its natural energy, the space of simple certainty; a sense of knowing. This is, I believe, indicative of thoughts that appear when tapping into any of the longer energetic wavelengths. An insight shared from that deep space carries with it a solid sense of certainty. As I experience them, longer wavelengths live in the background and thus are the relatively stable canvas on which my everyday experiences are alighted. So when a new insight is tapped from that wider field and expressed, the listener may feel the impact of the words landing as fact. Declared facts, by their nature, eliminate options contradictory to the stated position so can be experienced as restrictive to the listener. Just as when you are fully focused on some task, everything outside of that area of focused attention disappears from your experience. Certainty pushes alternate frequencies/perspectives to the sideline.

Now one of the most fundament aspects of Being, is freedom. Being is unencumbered at its origin. I think that most would agree that at Being’s deepest level absolute freedom is one of its fundamental attributes. And since it lies there in our depths, it is one of our fundamental attributes too. Thus anything we experience as impinging on that absolute freedom can evoke a dissonance that can reverberate downstream from the natural depth at which our boundlessness resides.

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